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Xmas? What a crock of shit. Well, I mean in addition to the complete lack of sense to be found anywhere within the religious belief system called Christianity. Don’t get me wrong, you know that I love to bash Christianity just as much as the average middle-eastern suicide bomber. But today I have a much more superficial bone to pick with this holiday.

So “Xmas” is it? What the hell is that from? People just got too damn lazy to write the name (they only have to write the last name, mind you) of their supposed only lord and savior so they decided “Oh what the hell, just make it two diagonal lines.” Yeah, that sounds like a proper god-fearing thing to say. Actually, if you really want to know, the whole “Xmas” thing is from Greek. “Χριστος” is “Christ” in Greek so people just decided to take the first letter of that (the “X”, in case you can’t count to 1) and just shove that infront of what’s left. Thus, “Xmas.” Clever, eh?

Well, in order to further our extreme laziness as a species, I think we should shorten Christmas even more. This whole “Xmas” thing is far too long and painful to write or type. But have no fear, I have found an ingenious solution. The “mas” part of “Christmas” obviously is yet another shortened version of a word. This time the word is “mass,” meaning that religious gathering thing where you sit and church for hours praying for it to be over. The Greek word for “mass” is “λειτουργία.” So, following the previously set pattern, we should just take the first letter from that word and shove it on the end of our new name for the celebration of the supposed birth of Jesus. Xλ. There we go. Done. Well, the whole “λ” thing might be a problem since few people can find the “λ” button on their keyboard, so let’s just change that to “A.” It’s close enough, right? So now we have XA. That is all well and good for writing down, but it is entirely too long to use in casual conversation. We should just shorten it to a vocal uttering. Something like “za.” But more guttural. You know, something that rattles the phlegm in your throat. “igszah.” There, beautiful. What a wonderful way to communicate about the imaginary universe that way too many people seem to think exists. Well, from me to all of you suckers who honestly believe in the joke that some call Christianity, “Merry igszah!”

By the way, I want to let you all know about the only movie about Jesus Christ that I will ever bother to watch: Kung Fu Jesus: This time, Jesus is fighting back.

In case you live under a rock, first of all I want to congratulate you on managing to fit a computer under there so that you could see this webpage. Second, I thought I’d let you know that Stanley “Tookie” Williams has been executed (by lethal injection) for various murders and other gang violence. This fellow also happened to be black. Now, for the icing on the cake, he supposedly reformed his life in prison. He wrote many books about how people shouldn’t join gangs and all that. He even managed to get a few Nobel Prize nominations.

Apparently, a few people seemed to like the guy and apparently didn’t want him to get executed. In fact, there are a few people that are pretty pissed about the whole deal. Many people are saying that this was somehow racially motivated and how they didn’t give him a second chance after he fully reformed his life. Here’s the truth so I can shut all you whiners up: I think this guy’s possibility of a second change faded away along with the life the of the second guy he killed. Then the third and fourth guy he killed were just nails in his coffin. I mean, come on. He killed four people! The least we could do was return one-quarter of the favor. If we wanted to be truly fair, we’d gas him, hang him, and shoot him after we finished injecting him. His family and friends should be happy enough that we’re not doing that. That doesn’t even account for all of the gang violence that he incited that likely led to many more deaths!

Since when did it become so hard to put a brother to death for some other dudes? It’s not like the twenty-four years in prison wasn’t long enough for him to fully soak up the glamour of prison life.

$20 bucks says that when Ahnuld the Governator decided to let the execution go through, he was thinking “Hasta la vista, Tookie!”

That’s right, the day has come. I have finally completed the flash animation to the “Irish Potato Famine” Song that was released a few weeks ago. I hope you enjoy it and pass it around to all of your friends!

“Irish Potato Famine” Flash Animation!

I have a good amount of experience when it comes to deciding that things suck. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not the only one that can distinguish between sucky things and non-sucky things. However, I have recently distinguished something that sucks about the whole process of deciding if something sucks or not.

Imagine, if you will, that you know of a book that just plain sucks. Would you want to read it? I don’t think you’d give half of a rat’s ass thinking about whether you’d want to read that book or not, and neither would I. Of course you wouldn’t want to waste your time reading yet another crappy book. Problem solved, case closed, all well and good…right?

Well, here’s my problem. I happened to know of a book (actually, it was assigned in a class I have) and I learned a little bit about it (from reviews on the internet, plot summaries on the internet, and from what I heard from other people I talked to about it). I was significantly educated on the general plot of the book, most of the main characters, some of the underlying themes, and even about the writing style, to a degree. With all of that information, I made the personal decision that I thought that the book sucked. It just simply sucked. The underlying themes were full of shit, the plot was like a bad soap opera that went on for 600 pages (yes, actually 600 pages…or maybe 590-something), and the characters simply annoyed me almost as much as Peggy from the TV show “King of the Hill” does. Did I read a page of the book yet? Well, no. But why would I want to read even a page of a crappy book? Why bother, if I already know it’s crappy?!

Mind you, I wasn’t spreading my gospel around the neighborhood, going door-to-door to let everybody know that the book sucked. I was simply keeping the opinion to myself, except when it came to doing assignments about the book in which case I complained about how crappy the book was to anybody and everybody within about 7 and a half feet. I only told people that I thought it sucked if they asked me about it. I never even told them that they should think it sucks, I only ever told them that I thought it sucked and that was that.

So here’s the issue: I started getting people asking me stuff like “How can you say it sucks if you haven’t even read it?” My response to that was (and still is) “Why would I waste my time reading a book that sucks?” They usually seemed to have a problem with that. It quickly turned into a “chicken-and-the-egg”-esque debate and it usually ended with somebody interrupting or me saying “It just sucks.” and walking away. Now the important question: Why do you care? Well, you probably don’t. However, if you’re still reading this, then you might as well hear me out.

I believe that people should have the right to decide that they think something sucks without having to read, watch, or otherwise observe the entire thing. Hell, I think that should be the 9th-and-a-half amendment to the Constitution! Honestly, though, people are already doing that. The thing is, apparently somebody set up this entire system that you must read/watch/observe a certain fraction of the work before you’re allowed to pass judgement. That is complete bullshit. People should be able to walk through book stores and pick out the crappy books just by looking at the front covers. Better yet, I want to see people picking them out with just the spines of the books showing. That would be the day.

My point is that people can decide things suck at any time and for any reasons, however idiotic or lacking they are. However, I would implement one catch, one big fat huge catch in the system. If/When you decide that something sucks, that is your personal opinion. In other words, that information is for use by you and you alone. You can share your opinion, but do not push it on other people in any way (unless they ask you to convince them or something weird like that). Basically, everybody should be able to have any opinions that they want without being persecuted for them, but they shouldn’t try to convince anybody else who doesn’t want to be convinced.

P.S. - If you want to know more about what I think about spreading one’s own opinion all over everybody else, check out this rant I wrote regarding religious belief’s being spread.