(This entry is kind of a follow-up to the entry entitled “Religious Suckage” which, in turn, is a follow-up to the entry entitled “Why (Just About) All Religions Suck“. This entry is also an excuse to get that ugly guy off of the top of the front page of my site.)
Well, you probably already know that I’m not a very religious guy. If not, then you’re a liar because you just read the previous sentence in which I told you that I’m not a very religious guy. Unless, of course, you skipped right to the 2nd sentence in which case you would still know because I stated that fact again. If you happened to skip reading both the first and second sentences, then you must be almost as crazy as me. Anyways, back to the topic at hand…or at finger tip (I don’t type with my entire hand all that often, it tends to lead to confusion). I was thinking about whole religion thing a couple of weeks ago and a certain thought came to my mind and I’ve been thinking about it off and on since.
How many religions are there? I know you just said “three and a half” out loud while reading this but we’ll just both pretend that it didn’t happen. The answer is there are thousands of religions. After a 2-minute search on Google, I got the number 4,200, but I’m sure that if you go to a site that is at all linked to Christianity, it will probably say something like “Well, there’s Christianity, and then there are all of those rag-wearing suicide dudes…oh yeah, and I think that there are a couple of Jews left. Oh, and I don’t really know about all them Asians.”. I know that there are in the ballpark of 0-20 main religions (such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc). However, each of those can have into the hundreds and sometimes thousands of various deviations and off-shoots. In some of the 3rd-world areas of Africa and Asia, each village will have its own little religious tradition and organization.
So, what’s my point? Well keep your various scriptures on your lap for just another minute or two before you throw them at your computer monitor. Basically, if there are so many religions, how do you know that yours is “the right one”? Or, if you call yourself not religious, how do you know that there isn’t some specific religion out there in some odd corner of Asia or Africa that is “the right one”? Now pause just a moment and let that sink in so that you can organize all of your arguments about what I just said in your head.
Now, in order to build some defense against all of the various arguments, I’m going to clarify something about this. I know that one of the first arguments against what I said also happens to be one of the main things that got me thinking about this whole idea. “Well duh, my religion is right because it just is. I found Jesus/I achieved enlightenment/I did whatever it was that affirms my religion for me and therefore I know that it is right.” Well, Mr. Smartypants, my whole point is what if you’re wrong? Sure, you found Jesus, but what if big ol’ Buddha comes down tomorrow to talk to you and he makes a whole lot more since than Jesus ever did? Hmm? How about that jar of pickles? Or Mr. IAmNotASuckerBecauseIDontOfficiallyBelieveInAnyReligion, what if you die and it turns out that that one shaman guy in the middle of Zaire with his tribe of 37 followers was right, and all other 6 billion of us were wrong? Are you beginning to understand my point? I’m not demanding that you agree with me (although this isn’t really a matter of agreeing or disagreeing, it’s just something to think about…or not think about, as the case may be), but I just want you to understand what I’m trying to say.
I think that this idea grew in my head from seeing all of these people that are so completely convinced that their religion is the right one or, in the reverse situation, that somebody else’s religion is definitely 100% the wrong one. Those kinds of thoughts are all over the damn place. For example, all of those people who do “extreme” things for their religion. Now, the old lady down the street who bakes an apple pie for her monthly old lady meeting at the church isn’t really all that extreme. However, the old lady down the alleyway who bakes an apple pie full of gun-powder and flint and plans to take it on an airplane with her for the sake of her religion would be considered extreme. All of those, dare I say, extremists are so amazingly committed to their religion it just amazes me. I hesitate to use a metaphor that seems like it belongs in elementary school, but think back a couple hundred years ago. The vast majority of Earth’s inhabitants were 100% convinced that the Earth was flat. They “knew” that the Earth was flat and if anybody thought otherwise, then they were wrong. Think back a little further and you have the people who “knew” that the Earth was the center at which the sun revolved, not the other way around. If you thought otherwise, then you were wrong. Now you conspiracy theorists are out there thinking “Yeah, well just because NASA and all of those other science nerds told you that the Earth was round and that we revolved around the sun doesn’t mean that it’s true. All of those space pictures could be photoshopped, anyways!” Well, you have an interesting point, but I’m not arguing about the truthfulness of the metaphor. I am simply using it to prove my point. Anyways, another example is that anybody who is at all evangelical is basically saying that every single other religion (all 4,199 of them, apparently) is incorrect and that their religion is the one and only right one.
That last part bring me to a certain idea to make note of. When I was thinking about this whole idea, I realized that the majority of religions don’t really leave much room for other religions. What I mean is that almost all religions kind of have the idea that “this town ain’t big enough for the both of us.” Even if they aren’t evangelical, it seems to me that just about all religions basically assume that all other religions are incorrect. So, if one of these religions actually is correct, then most likely all of the other religions are wrong. If you want to get all mathematical, then there is about a 1 in 4,200 chance that you have “the right” religious beliefs. If you want to get really mathematical, then you could account for the population percentages in certain areas around the world and the different amount of people in the different religions. However, I’m far too lazy for that. My point is that it is a very small chance so basically, your religion is most likely “wrong,” assuming that one of them is right. Of course, all 4,200 of them could be wrong and “the right” one just hasn’t been discovered/invented/developed yet.
So, what is the conclusion? If you’re so smart, Fedorpheux, why do you say that you’re not religious? According to what you just said, shouldn’t you realize that your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are most likely incorrect? Well, if you’re thinking thoughts like that, then congratulations on actually reading this entry and actually engaging your brain. First of all, I will not change what I said earlier in the article. I do currently call myself not religious and therefore (according to myself), I am most likely wrong. However, one very important thing that I want to make very clear is that I am certainly not “done” deciding my religious beliefs. I am always ready to learn more and believe something new or different every day. I’ve been waiting for Jesus to come down and have a chat with me ever since some crazy Christian told me that it happened to them. However, since it hasn’t happened yet, then I don’t have any good reason to believe that it ever will. I am still open to all religious beliefs, but none of them have done a very good job at convincing me that they are “the right one”.
Currently, the idea that makes the most sense to me about this whole religion thing is somewhat of a cheesy thing (which is part of the reason why I can’t say that I agree with it 100% just yet). Basically, when I think about all this stuff, the only solution that seems at all plausible is that religion might be a personal thing. If there is any kind of higher power (a whole other debate about which I am still undecided), I can’t believe that it expects each and every human being to look into all 4,200 religions until they find the one that turns out to be “the right one”. That is just completely unrealistic and such a higher power would know that. So, the only other thing that I can think of is that everybody should listen to whatever other religious ideas that they hear and share their own and then end up creating their own set of ideas about religion and the beginning of life and the afterlife (if there is one) and all that stuff. You share all the thoughts and ideas that you want, but since it is a personal thing, you wouldn’t try to recruit anybody else at all. If you form a religion that is completely unique and made for you based on your own experiences, you would truly believe in it a lot more since you’re the one preaching to yourself about it, not some weird child-molester in a white suit. Some people have this kind of outlook on religious beliefs already but the vast majority of people basically sign up for one of the 4,200 religions and then assume that the one that they are part of is right. There are over 6 billion people on this planet and I think that maybe there should be at least that many “religions”. Still, I don’t agree with this whole idea 100%, but it makes more sense to me than any of the religions that I know about so far.
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