Fedorpheux.com

As requested by Jacob, I made the following wallpaper:

Fonzie 1600×1200 resolution (Link Removed)

Fonzie 1280×1024 resolution (Link Removed)

Enjoy.

I’m not exactly sure what the specs are or when it will be released or what ludicrous amount of money Microsoft will want for one upon its release, but here is a picture of an XBox 360 (the next XBox gaming console):

Here
(Note: This file is hosted somewhere else so if it’s down, too bad. By now, there are plenty of other pictures of the XBox 360 floating around the internet.)

Well, for me, this week is a short week. I only go to school Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday and Friday are off for conferences or something like that. So I have a 4 day weekend coming up. I guess that makes this Wednesday more like a Friday, right? Since it is the day before the weekend, like Friday usually is. Except, this time, it happens to be a Wednesday. Well, then Tuesday can’t be Tuesday anymore, that would just be confusing. This Tuesday will be much more like a Wednesday because it will be in the middle of my new shortened week. Tuesdays aren’t in the middle, Wednesdays are. So that’s why my Tuesday this week will really be much more of a Wednesday. Monday is still Monday, though, so don’t worry about that. The beginning of the week is still Monday, as it was today. It’s just that I’m skipping a day and magically tomorrow is going to be Wednesday. If I didn’t do that, then that would just be confusing. Follow me?

Now, assuming that my Tuesday is now a Wednesday and my Wednesday is now a Friday and my Monday is, well, still just a Monday, what about the weekend? Is this Thursday going to be a Saturday? Using that logic that Wednesday is a Friday, it would be the only sensible thing to call Thursday a Saturday. But then what the hell do we do with Friday? Do we call it Sunday because it is the day after our newly named Saturday? We can’t do that, we’d be getting a whole day ahead of Saturday before the real Saturday even came. That wouldn’t be right. Then we’ll just have to call Friday the second part of Saturday. You know, Saturday 1 and Saturday 2. Simple enough. But then, if you’re staying up late Thursday night and it’s midnight, well then it’s actually just noon Saturday. I guess we’d then be forced to call the real Saturday Sunday 1 and then the real Sunday Sunday 2. It works.
But not really, because the weekend should be preserved. You don’t want to invite people over on Saturday morning (expecting them to show up Thursday) and then not having them actually show up until Sunday 1. That would be a deeply insulting 48 hours late (and 48 hours is a whole day in a 4 day weekend). What if we continue to call Thursday Saturday 1 but then we change Friday’s name to Sunday 1. Whoa, crazy isn’t it? Well, it makes sense. Then we’d be able to call the real Saturday Saturday 2 instead of the entirely different day of Sunday 1. And the real Sunday would just be Sunday 2. That way everybody would know that if it’s the day 1 of some day, then it’s actually the fake day of that day and they should wait until the day 2 of that day to really experience the true day of that day. No confusion, right?
But now we have a real problem: 4 day weeks. You know, where you get Monday off or Friday off or something like that. If you get Friday off, does that make only a fraction of Monday a true Monday? We could do that by splitting up the 4 remaining days into 5 equally long days. Or maybe it would be easier to split them up into 3 different but equally long days. Imagine that, you could do a whole 4 days of work in just 3 days. Magic! But then what the hell do you do with that weekend? Yeah, we could split up the 3 days into 2 equally long days. Or, if we wanted to make it more exciting, we could have a limbo day. You know, where Friday would be Saturday, Sunday would be Sunday, but the Saturday in the middle would be special. Since it’s time-slot labeled Saturday has already been taken by that Friday, it doesn’t really have an existence. We’d have to call that Saturday a limbo day. It wouldn’t be Saturday anymore, but for a whole 24 hours it wouldn’t quite be Sunday just yet. We’d have to order everybody to wander around with confused looks on their faces to match the name of the day. Limbo Day. I like the sound of that.

Well, we could do that, or we could just say “FUCK THAT BULLSHIT!!!” and act like it’s a week just like any other week you’ve lived in your life! There are 7 days; Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Or, if you prefer, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Still just a 2 day weekend; Saturday and Sunday. Still just a 5 day week; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Just because you don’t happen to work doesn’t mean you need to run around renaming days! What are you planning to do over Summer when all you kids don’t go to school? Are you just going to call it a really really really long Saturday and Sunday stretched over 3 months? Fuck no! It’s all going to be perfectly normal, you just don’t go to school! Can you handle that? The rest of the world keeps running, trust me. If you don’t trust me, wander out into the middle of the road right near a blind corner on one of your fake Saturdays that’s actually during the week and see what happens. You’ll probably (and hopefully) get mowed down by a 16-wheeler delivering gallons of pink food coloring to the local candy factory.

I was surfing around Google trying to find something worthy of writing an entry about. I was thinking about making a joke about how they put Linux on everything these days. From iPods to Xboxes, Linux has seen a great many platforms. So I was going to make a joke about how they should somehow install Linux on a toaster. Well, this guy came pretty damn close. Technically, though, it is a toaster oven, not just a plain toaster. And if you want to be really nit-picky, technically he just put the components inside the toaster oven and I guess it doesn’t really work as a toaster oven anymore, but it’s still cool.

The website that I made for a band that I am in is now officially up. There are still a few kinks to work out, but whatever. www.OutboardMatter.com is the place to be, so go there and check it out. Especially for you people who are actually in the Corvallis area and such.

The following is a message from the experts at Fedorpheux.com:

No, seriously, I made sure to get rid of the dimwits and idiots for this entry, this is some serious stuff. No room for error, I could only allow my experts to touch this one. Nothing but experts, not even the aspiring experts. Not even the mildly proficient or somewhat genius were ever close to this one. So now you can rest assured that you can completely accept anything that is said here as it is coming straight from the mouth of nothing but pure, honest to god, 100% homegrown with no artificial flavors or preservatives experts.

I saw a commercial for a woman’s shampoo and at the end of it, it was nice enough to inform me that it was from the experts at whatever company it was. Well thank god it wasn’t from the guy down the hall from the experts, that would be disasterous! Seriously, how much expertise do you need to make shampoo? Okay, maybe the very first guy to think up and make shampoo was a bright guy, but that’s got to be it. I mean, since then, all that’s been done is we’ve added a hell of a lot of different smells to it. Sure, they say this shampoo will give you 90% more shine and that shampoo will give you 37% more volume and that other shampoo will englarge your penis (and/)or your breasts, but it’s all basically the same stuff. Shouldn’t we be having our true experts working on more important stuff, like maybe creating a better, cleaner, more reusable source of energy or something fancy like that? If they are truly experts, they could be quite helpful to projects like that, instead of futzing around with this shampoo stuff.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just asking for too much. And, afterall, they should know better than me, they are the “experts.”

Well, the Pope is finally dead. Oh, and so is that Terry Schiavo lady.

In other news, Castro still isn’t dead yet.