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This past weekend I helped my girlfriend’s aunt with some simple computer stuff (she has very little experience with computers…i just installed a cd-rom drive and a dial-up modem and we got her online). Anyways, she had this old laptop lying around and she asked me where one would dispose of computers. I informed her that I wouldn’t mind taking it off her hands. When I booted it up there, it had a password that prevented from even getting as far as the bios. Nonetheless, I was determined to succeed in doing something with it so I took the laptop (along with power cord and a few random flopies of various drivers and such, but no OS disks).

Once I got home, I was still stuck with the password problem so I tried using a paperclip to push into the little hole marked “Reset”. I was still stuck with the password after multiple resets. Well I was just starting to look up online to see what I could do to get around it, I was down to trying whatever I could think of as the password to see if it worked. When I first picked it up, I obviously tried “password” with no success. Her aunt also had a couple of suggestions of what it might be, but none of those worked. I was beginning to get desperate so I just typed whatever words I could find. First I tried “Satellite” because it was on the laptop (I think it’s the model name). After that, I tried “Toshiba” (the manufacturer) and bam, I got in. I was happy to be able to get into the BIOS and poke around. Apparently, it had Windows 95 installed on it but the OS would no longer fully boot. It demanded some drivers for some cd-rom drive that it didnt even have (it only has floppy internal, so my guess is that at one time it may have been used with an external cd-rom drive). I looked on all the floppies and I couldn’t find any with the necessary drivers. I even tried the floppy that said it could repair a windows install, but none of the stuff on that helped. So, I decided that I’m going to have to reinstall the OS. Seeing as how I don’t have an external cd-rom drive and there’s no way that I’m going to bother to buy one, it will have to be floppy only. I could install linux, but I want something with a GUI so I was thinking of using either windows 3.1 or windows 95 (which was what that laptop had previously). The problem is I don’t have either of those OSes in floppy form (I have a windows 95 cd from long ago, but obviously that is useles for this laptop). Luckily, one of my friends has windows 95 floppy version and he gave it to me today. When I get home tonight, that’s what I’m installing (in the laptop carrying case, there was a booklet and official windows certificate with a legal key, so I’m covered with that).

And, in case you guys wanted to know, here are the specs of the laptop (according to a little paper that I found in the carrying case, and some of it was confirmed when I looked in the BIOS):

Intel Pentium 75mhz processer (yes, that’s seventy-five)

8mb of RAM

528mb hard drive

So with that powerhouse of a laptop (sarcasm), I was hoping I could get windows 95 working on it and play around with notepad and paint and such.

Oh, and almost forgot, there is no network card or anything. One of the two expansions slot has something in it that connects to a cord that I found in the case that appears to have a phone line connecter at the other end, so I guess that’s a dial-up modem. It would be cool if I could somehow network this baby, but it seems rather doubtful.

We’ll see what I can manage to do with this laptop.

Here it is, guys, Goomage number 10 (not to mention my first entry in over 2 weeks and my first real with actual content in months, but I’m kind of trying to hide that fact…yes, the same fact that I just made abundantly clear to everybody currently reading this…shut up). So, what phrase could really suit the big one zero properly? Well, I chose one and I hope you respect my decision (and if you don’t, I actually don’t really care at all). I searched good ol’ Google Image Search for the phrase do the dew. First page, eigth result, here you go:

The above image is from http://www.thfirst.org/sermon00/092400a.htm

Wow, I didn’t know that a picture could be so ugly without actually having a really ugly person on it. Or maybe some butt ugly dog or something. I mean, how ugly can plain old text get? Well, I guess this image is the answer to that question.
I’ll stop insulting the quality of the image. Ugly half-assed images can be found all over the web. In fact, they’re probably the second most common kind of images on the web. Second only to, of course, the trillions of pornographic images zooming around the internet as fast as friendless nerds can hook their monitors and network cables. Now, who would take the sacred phrase of Mountain Dew and massacre it like this? Of course, we all knew it was coming. It’s so tempting, some idiot was bound to fall into the trap sooner or later. But really now, who would actually take the famous “Do the Dew” and mangle it into “Do the Do”? I don’t know, but I got a certain vibe from this image as soon as I saw it. Dare I say, was Jesus involved?
Hot damn, it was that darn J.C.! In fact the whole page is some crappy online sermon from some crappy church (mind you, I’m the kind of person that will call any sermon crappy and any church crappy, and with good reason). Man, when religion is combined with a wildly popular soda, it really makes me want to praise the good lord who allowed such a wonderful creation as Dew be created.

Actual quote:
Folks, Jesus began with a few changed lives, and He empowered them to change the world with GODS LOVE!…And for just 3 easy payments of $39.95, YOU TOO can change the world with GODS LOVE! Act now, and St. Peter will take one of your payments INTO HEAVEN so you only have to pay 2 easy payments of $39.95! Note: Results not typical.
Okay, well the stuff after the “…” isn’t actually on the page, but it really seems like it should be somewhere in there, doesn’t it? I don’t know what this guy is selling, but damn, hook me up with 10 cases of it! All of those words on that page that are capitalized in a completely random order really make me want to get down on my knees and praise that which is holy.
This page reminds me of the whole thing about how people who voted for Bush in 2000 have lower IQs. I’m going to use the page found in this Goomage and this page alone to come to the conclusion that all Christians are stupid.
Wow, I think that I just insulted so many people that I’m actually too lazy to explain each group and how/why I insulted them. I’ll save all that for later.

Don’t want me to insult you? Well then send in your suggestions for Goomage search words or phrases to goomage@fedorpheux.com! I’ll probably still make fun of you (in fact, probably even more than I usual), but it’s still worth a shot!

Okay, I have now taken the next step to fight off the insane amount of bots commenting on this site. I installed a script that requires one of those security codes that are displayed in a picture that bots (hopefully) can’t read but humans easily can. You have to enter that code into the field right below it everytime you want to add a comment. I know it adds a whole 3 seconds to your job of posting a comment, but (if it works as well as I hope it does) it will reduce hours of my time just sitting here deleted bot comment after bot comment. Let me know if you have any problems with the script. It should work fine, though.