Fedorpheux.com

Back in my day, I had to walk uphill both ways in the rain, snow, hail, sleet, and ice while it was 80mph winds out and 6 degrees below zero without windchill, and it was 12 miles each way just to get the mail! What the hell day were you in? The first day of the ice age?

If I were you, I wouldn’t be so lazy and I would do a lot better on tests and I would have 3 jobs and I would smell better and I would be sexier and I wouldn’t be writing this stupid entry. Actually, if you were me, you would be doing the exact same thing as me, dumbass!

Don’t you just hate those sayings? I’ve had just about enough of them. I’m getting very close to saying something like I said above back to anybody and everbody who says something like that to me. Hopefully, I can help rid the world of these horrible sayings.
The whole “Back in my day…” thing is just stupid. Yeah, back in your day you mowed 50 lawns in the neighborhood and got paid a total of $12.37. Does that mean that it’s somehow the fault of the youth of today that minimum wage has risen? Guess what, you older and “wiser” generation (I use the “wiser” very loosely), it’s actually your fault. It is because of inflation and such, and I refuse to believe that we (the youth) somehow caused this nationwide economic action in utero. Well, now that it’s our day, how about you older generation network 3 desktop computers, 2 servers (1 mail, 1 web/ftp), 2 Macs (1 wirelessly), and route them through a 10/100 switch and then to a wired/wireless 802.11b/g network and then connect them all to an ADSL 1.5mbps/896kbps connection, while at the same time rebel against everything while embracing the cool things, looking forward to the soon to be cool things, shunning the formerly cool things, listening to all types of music and simultaneously hate it and like it for various different and opposing reasons and update your online “Blog” at least every 27 minutes with a new and wonderful picture of yourself that doesn’t violate that rules of the cheap crappy free hosting that you’re using, while all the time your older and “wiser” generation is telling you how much better they were when they were back in their day!
And the quick thing about the “If I were you…” saying is this: If you were me, you would do EXACTLY everything I do and not do EXACTLY everything that I don’t do and act EXACTYLY how I act and react EXACTLY how I act and so on and so forth. So don’t give me that bullshit. Now, if you were you but in my present situation, that would be different. Of course, that would still be pointless in most situations due to the fact that with just about everything that happens to us in our lives, something (some memory, knowledge, experience, etc) from earlier in our lives affects what we do. Therefore, with each and every person having a different live, don’t even tell me what you would do if you were in my position.

I know I’m a tad behind the trend, but I don’t care. I now have a GMail account. fedorpheux@gmail.com is all me. All 1000 megabytes. That is all for now.

I would just like to wish a happy Father’s Day to all you fathers whose kids don’t love you enough to tell you themselves. Also, an especially happy Father’s Day to all you teenage out of control hormone-driven guys who have kids that their girlfriends may or may not have told them about just yet.

I just got back from Lala Land (or L.A. as some people call it…I guess other people even call it Los Angelos, but I usually don’t since I don’t think that I know how to spell it correctly). Anyways, it was fun. I guess the highlight of the trip would be our day at Universal Studios in Hollywood. I walked all around the actual set of Crossing Jordan. I had heard of the show before, but never watched it. Last night, I watched it for the first time just to see the set since we had walked around it. It was actually pretty cool. I don’t think I’ll watch the show ever again, though. Anyways, I don’t know how many of you watch Street Smarts, or even know what it is, but I saw them filming it. I saw the actual guy, he was interviewing some fat guy, and I walked behind the filming and kind of gave a funny look. Of course, the chances of them using that little 2-second clip of footage in their actual show is incredibly small, but that’s okay. It was still really cool to see the host and everything. We didn’t any other famous people, so that means that you’ve probably already lost interest. Good timing, because I probably smell really bad and desperately need to take a shower.

This entry may make you think that I discriminate a lot, but don’t worry: I hate everybody equally. It’s just that sometimes I have better reasons than others. For example, you know the term “flaming homosexual”? When used correctly, it describes a person who may or may not actually be homosexual (although they usually are homosexual), but they dress and act like they are 110% homosexual. If I didn’t explain it well, you can always check out the Urban Dictionary definition.

Honestly, I don’t have anything against homosexuals. They’re just fine. But when they start walking around in hot pink pants, hair to dyed to match those pants, and polka-dot shirts, that’s just too far. I know somebody who actually dresses like that on a regular basis. That somebody is a guy! The most frustrating thing about that guy is that he has actually been confronted before and people asked him whether he was gay or not (no, I didn’t do this personally), and he mantained that he is not gay. He has the high-pitched annoying voice and everything!!! But no, he goes around hurting my eyes while he tries to tell people he’s not gay.
This whole situation is kind of like fat people. I don’t really have anything against the average fat person. Sometimes, I think they’re retarded because they need to actually figure out a healthy diet and do some exercise every once in a while, but I can’t just tell that to every random fat person I see because there could easily be some underlying health issue that is making them fat that I have no idea exists with them. I mean, I could yell at somebody “Exercise, you fatty!” and then they might yell back “I have diabetes and it’s hereditary, dumbass!”
However, here’s the thing: I really really hate the fat people who wear those damn clothes that are about 7 sizes too small for them!!! I mean, I know it may be a little hard at first to come to terms with your fatness, but get over it man! Actually, more often than not, it’s women in this situation. Those stupid women who want to dress all skanky and prostitute-like like all their little anorexic friends but you can’t do it when you weigh 200 pounds, damnit! There are people like this all over! Those girls who wear those revealing tank tops in the summer. They think they’re revealing their sexy body when in reality, all that they’re revealing are disgusting rolls of fat. Those sexy tight jeans that are instyle are clinging to their fat jiggly legs and every time they sit down they have to pull them up so their pants don’t fall off. Are you all retarded or what?!?! I’m not asking for all fat people to wear sweatpants 24/7 or anything, but please; just use your common sense and be reasonable to the other inhabitants of this earth! If you want to earn the right of wearing those skimpy clothes since society and our retarded culture have shoved into your thick skull that that is the “cool” thing to do, lose some weight first, fatty, and stop hurting our eyes!
Really, I’m not discriminating. I hate everybody equally. If I haven’t pissed you off yet, don’t worry, I’ll get around to it. Several times, if I’m lucky.

You know those commercials that advertise some fancy little strip thing that you’re supposed to put on your teeth and “it can take up to 14 years off of your teeth!”

What if you’re only 13 years old?