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For you non-Oregonians, imagine a small little town of maybe a few thousand people somewhat isolated in central Oregon. The name of that town is Sweet Home. In my chemistry class at school (which I happen to be in right now), we are studying arsenic levels in that town. What started all this is that according to USGS (United States Geological Surveys), Sweet Home has extremely high levels of arsenic in the ground water. These levels could potentially be lethal, or at least harmful to the environment.

So, off we go on our little field trip, gathering samples from the field. Back at school, we take 5 full days to process these 150 or so soil and fossil samples and send them off to the nuclear reactor at OSU (Oregon State University) so that they can find exactly how much arsenic is in there. Well, OSU apparently shut down their reactor or something. We sent it off to other places and sometimes it got screwed up and other times the results showed absolutely no arsenic. Now, they’ve been sent off to about 4 totally different locations to be tested about 3 different ways. These places include Reed college and Hewlett-Packard. So far, we’re thinking that maybe the first tests of these samples weren’t flawed. Maybe these soil samples really don’t have any arsenic. But then where did all the arsenic that the USGS detect go?
I think I may have an answer. As you may remember, I mentioned a certain evil organization in Goomage 8: The Communist Lumberjacks from Sweden. Don’t go calling me crazy just yet. Okay, well you can go ahead and call me crazy, but I think this idea is so crazy that it just might be true. The reason behind that is the members of the secret faction of Communist Lumberjacks from Sweden must be rather crazy in the first place, don’t you think? So, coming here in America where you’d least expect them: Sweet Home. It’s a genious plan! Take down the American democratic republic from the inside out. They’re not stupid enough to start at L.A. or New York City where they would easily be found out and caught. But in a place like Sweet Home, most people don’t even know what communism is. Or, for that matter, they probably don’t even know what Sweden is.
I’m not quite sure yet what exactly to do about this problem, but I am always thinking about this. If we don’t do anything about this, this time next year we may all be chopping down trees with Swedish axes whistling evil communist tunes.

Just about every guy on the face of this earth has complained about girls and their use of purses at some time (and probably many times) in their life. However, I am taking this one step further. In any school environment, where it is common to see just about everybody walking around with a backpack, why do some girls feel a desperate need to have a purse in addition to their backpack?

Let’s think about this. A backpack can easily be rather huge and weigh around 10 pounds when loaded heavily. One of those “stylish” itty bitty purses can’t weigh more than a pound even when fully loaded with lipstick and tampons. Can’t you just find some room in your backpack? Is there something sacreligious about having a backpack and not having a purse? Don’t tell me there isn’t enough room in the backpack. I personally know somebody who has a backpack that he has owned for 2 or 3 years now, and it contains at least 25 different pockets/compartments. The reason I say “at least” is because he is finding more and more pockets all over the place. With backpacks that practically sprout pockets up for no reason, there has to be enough space. In addition to that, it’s not like these girls are busy lugging around Honors Calculus and Honors Physics textbooks around.
Why attack these poor little purses? They’re not doing any harm, right? Wrong. These things are a growing annoyance to guys everywhere. They get in the way, are easily forgettable, easily dropped, easily stolen, generally useless because of their extremely small size, and at least half of them are down right butt ugly. So come on people, stop pissing me off with those purses when you have perfectly useful backpacks or maybe I’ll just go piss in your purses.

Silly rabbit, cursors are for kids!

This may be old, but it’s new to me. Enjoy. I suggest to do it at work/school and then when your boss/teacher walks by, try to convince him that it’s a virus on your computer and you can’t stop it.

I just finished writing a 10 page paper on using depleted uranium munitions. Frankly, I’m sick of it. And at the end of the 10 pages, the conclusion is basically this: we have an assload of depleted uranium because it is a by-product of all of the nuclear reactors that we use for electricity and such. So it is virtually impossible to get rid of our production of it.

We can’t just put it in warehouses because eventually we’ll run out of room. We can’t put it in landfills or in the ocean cause it is radioactive and would kill a whole bunch of stuff. We can’t wait for it to not be radioactive anymore because its half-life is 4.2 billion years, give or take. We can’t shoot it into space because we don’t have anywhere near the necessary money and resources. Also, the risk is way too high. Just imagine what would happen if a rocket full of radioactive depleted uranium failed on launch and accidently zoomed over to New York City and crashed there. Not happy stuff, people.
Basically, we should probably not use quite so much in our military. Much more importantly, however, all the governments and international organizations need to admit that the stuff is radioactive and dangerous. They’re all lying and covering it up and totally ignoring all of the hard facts the proof how dangerous it really is.
Eh, whatever. We’ll all die anyways. Just, if you or anybody you know happens to die as a result of exposure to depleted uranium, you can blame retarded and selfish politicians.